Personal College Essay:  Samples

[Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, or risk that you have taken and its impact on you.]

It was cold and dark, and the walls were covered in a gooey, slimy film. My Caldor-brand sneakers slid with each tenuous step, making me wish I had sprung for the Nikes with the better grip. I reached for the boy in front of me, trying to keep my balance. As we rounded the final corner, we heard squeals of laughter off the cave walls. We had reached Devil’s Chimney.

Our guide pointed her light into a small hole in the ceiling and shocked us by picking up the first girl and thrusting her into the hole. The rest of the group followed her, wriggling up the narrow passage and crawling on their stomachs along the mildewed tunnel. As each small, limber student squirmed into the passage, I stepped back, afraid that my stout stature would wedge me in the tight space or that my asthma would cause me to suffocate in the tunnels. Despite much goading and support from my leaders and fellow explorers, I refused to attempt what turned out to be a short, dry, well-lit tour.

Emerging from the cave, I sobbed at my weakness. It was hard to believe that after completing a trek through Krueger Park, South Africa, just days before, I had allowed fear to prevent me from finishing the spelunking expedition. I resolved never to allow fear to impede my actions again. I kept my promise: I wore a friendly face in a Soweto village, climbed to the top of God’s Window, and stayed alone in a local family’s home to experience their way of life (while the rest of the group was housed in pairs). During the eighteen-hour flight home, I felt proud of my accomplishments despite the rocky beginning.

Since that trip I have maintained a daredevil's sense of adventure both at home and abroad. Despite concerns about my physical condition, I went whitewater rafting and took a hot-air balloon ride over the Rockies. I ate alligator hot dogs, wildebeest, zebra, and ostrich eggs -- and I even rode the ostrich that lay them. I visited Japan, where I learned some travel-Japanese and how to eat with chopsticks and even caught our dinner while sailing to an island museum. I ate lunch with wild wallabies, relinquished my water bottle to a dingo, learned an Australian Aboriginal dance, slept in a Maori sacred building, and wiped out while street-luging down a mountain in New Zealand. I even dragged my acrophobic mother up mountains in the Auvergne, only to leave her quivering halfway up while I persevered alone to the top.

I have continued to follow this new path. I record my adventures in journals, scrapbooks, and over a thousand photos per year. As much as I love to travel, the best part of the trip is often the return home and the reflection on all that I have seen, heard, eaten, felt, and achieved. I would not have as much to reflect upon without first experiencing fear that day in Devil's Chimney.

[Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.]

"You may now alight, " boomed a loud voice over the ferry's intercom. Walking off of the ferry, I looked around in awe at the countless unfamiliar faces that shared a common fate: Basic Military Training Camp with the Singapore army. When I was younger, I had often laughed when my older friends departed for their three-month training. I quickly realized, however, that the first three months of my two-year national service would be no laughing matter.

With my first steps onto the sunny island of Pulau Tekong -- my new home -- I thought of Tony Blair's famous declaration: "It is the dawn of a new era." Apprehension overwhelmed me as I considered that my own life was about to take a drastic turn. Determined to make the most of the situation, I followed my orders to report to the auditorium, where I officially enlisted in the army.

My assignment placed me in Charlie Company, which was renowned for having the toughest training of all the companies in the island's two camps. Yet the first two weeks were not as horrible as I had envisioned. I spent my days doing foot drills and strength-building exercises, signing documents, and speaking with insurance representatives. In those first calm days, I frequently wondered why I had worried so much about basic training. I quickly discovered why.

Within another week, I was "falling in" at three in the morning, doing a hundred push-ups in the mud, spending hours practicing drills in the scorching sun, and marching ten miles with a 55-pound backpack. The Charlie Company officers worked hard to uphold their reputation as the toughest company, and my entire body ached to go home every day. Although each day seemed more grueling, I was surprised by how rewarding it felt to meet such a mentally and physically demanding challenge. The sense of accomplishment that I felt after three months of basic training was second to none.

Perhaps one of the most rewarding aspects of my time with Charlie Company was the friendship that developed among the eleven new recruits who shared a room with me. At first, I wondered how we would get along, given our divergent backgrounds. My own status as an honors student from overseas set me apart from the local polytechnic students and the poorly educated young men with whom I lived. As time went by, however, the camaraderie among the twelve of us grew into something that I have yet to experience again. Regardless of race, education, or religion, each recruit pushed the others to try harder, which in turn completely redefined our physical and mental limits. Knowing that eleven other people depended on me just as much as I depended on them made me understand the importance of teamwork.

After the monumental fifteen-mile march that marked the end of my military training, I was no longer the pampered teenager that I once was. My former lack of urgency, occasional tantrums, and childish outlook all dissipated after three months on the island of Pulau Tekong. Successfully completing the most challenging endeavor of my life has convinced me that I can accomplish anything. Now, I face challenges and hardships head-on; backing out will never again be an option.

Many of my friends who did not have to go through military service scoffed at the idea of postponing university for what they saw as a waste of time. I view it in a different light. For me, my time in the military was a golden opportunity that allowed me to discover the absolute limits of what I can achieve. Without a doubt, the basic training that began my military service was "the dawn of a new era" for me.